Review of the Year 2011

Part of my new year's resolution for 2012 is to write more blogs - do you know why? Because I always like to write a review of my year and I've found that the ageing process - and 10 years hard drinking - have wrecked my memory somewhat. In a sort of particular order, here are some of the things I did last year.

Walks

Malhamdale Meander
23 miles. The hardest part was climbing the hill at the start, never mind Gordale Scar. I have no idea how we got round the whole thing. We all finished last, but it was a phenomenal achievement - think the only way to better it this year is the Yorkshire Three Peaks or some kind of marathon. Oh dear. It's the Preston Guild marathon this year. Stop me before I sign up for something I'll regret.

Helvellyn
That was bloody hard work too. As I said at the time: "Exhausting climb up to Striding Edge, mad scramble across it, hideous scramble up to the summit, horrendous descent down the rocks, nice wander afterward, all good til I went arse over tit on the bloody TARMAC!!" Got some amazing pics though. And the best part was the boy at the top selling cups of tea and Mars bars. I'm not sure why we stopped hill climbing.

Scafail
Oh yeah I remember why. I decided it would be a really good idea to stop eating carbs the day before attempting to climb the highest peak in England. This meant I got quite ill half way up and we had to abandon. Don't think Heather has forgiven me really. It did turn into a lovely walk though, crossing loads of streams and that. Many Rivers To Cross! Then we went on a bit of a Lake District pub crawl. Well two pubs. The one at the bottom of Sca Fell and the one in Broughton in Furness square.

Kentmere Horseshoe
Oh wow, that was a day. Absolutely stunning scenery. Although it was 10 miles shorter than Malhamdale, I think it was marginally more difficult, just because there were so many peaks. I just remember me and Rory getting to the top of High Street, the highest point of the walk, not knowing where we were and going "ugh what the fuck is this trig point here for?". We only managed half of the Horseshoe but it was still really cool. Got some top photos.

Lancaster Trio
Clougha Pike - Crook o Lune - Some other Lancaster walk
Great day - did about 12 miles - most of it flat, finished off with a 400m pike. Just so you know, this was the day 'just so you know' was born.

Darwen Tower
Loved this walk. It was very very cold but again very beautiful, unusual for Lancashire! This walk featured the "subdued stile".

20 miler on Merseyside coast
Oh this was my favourite walk of the whole walking season! Gorgeous weather, beautiful scenery, hilarious company. One day I'll put the vid together so the whole world can see how ridiculous me and Cheryl looked in the blistering sunshine in our jumpers.

Hebden Bridge
Stoodley Pike. Bloody cold. Bloody icy. Top day.

Death by cow in Penwortham
How random. I got chased by cows about a mile from my house. Katie and Heather got rid of them by going "Wahey" in a low pitch.

Beacon Fell
This was a bit meh really. I know we got very lost. We were probably told to follow our noses at some point... Highlight was singing Crazy at the top of my voice when the hysteria set in.

Pendle Hill
Really difficult. Baron and Soup practically ran up this hill. I crawled.

Fair Snape Fell
OH MY GOD. It was like the end of the world. Bog after bog after bog. Warning signs about unexploded shells. Bog after bog. Best part was the tarmac, as always.

Lyme Park + Chatsworth House
Lovely day.

There were more walks than this... I almost forgot the Singing Ringing Tree. That was just... wet....

Band

I joined my favourite band of all time - another amazing achievement.
Joining the band and starting a full-time job 35 miles from my house kind of took its toll, but I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world.

Helsinki - busy busy busy but a fantastic experience. Highlights included:
- Kinkuu
- Whisk bustling
- Breasts made from pies
- "think of the most shocking news you've ever heard and times it by... 51!!!"
- The four faces of Rosie Swayne
- Round robins
- Lovely Tia saving the day
- Pear... Thing
- The healing properties of Jagermeister
- The correct way to use Facebook (we really are onto something there)
- The Finnish Anne Robinson
- Love in an Elevator
- The Stripiest Tiger

Northampton
Possibly the biggest crowd I've ever played to - crowd featured some rather marvellous people too. Nick came, Rory came, Leanne came, Helen R came, an even dozen came… Was a top night - the video's amazing, pays testament to all our hard work over the last 4 months. Pity I suffered from one of those epic 10 day hangovers afterward.

Swansea
First Invocal gig as a five piece! My first gig with the "classic line up". Loved it. Was scared shitless but it was a fab experience. We went drinking in a real divey place after - loads of fun, drank "taffy apples".

Reading
Also a load of fun. Good venue, shame about the sound. Loved how Em and Nick just turned up - such a lovely surprise. Mae Martin was brilliant too.

Northampton Beer Festival
Ha ha ha. Slightly less brilliant than other band weekends. A "jolly good wheeze" she said. This festival made me ill. Had to book into a hotel the following day to sleep off the hangover. A horrendous experience - think I only got that drunk two more times after that. Which was two times too many. Both times in Northampton. The cider is dirty in that town, I swear it, it's the only explanation!

Shows

Edinburgh Fringe
Always the best place to be in August. Experience was slightly tainted by the whole job loss thing, but still:
- Frisky & Mannish - just brilliant. Best act I've seen all year.
- Ruby Wax - love her. The combination of comedy and mental illness - what's not to like?
- Segue Sisters - OK they were good
- Showstopper: The Improvised Musical - Dead Cold! Something about a hospital in Antarctica? I'm not really sure. I do know that Heather did a bit of Pippa Evans stalking at the end - standard, as they say.
- Singing Obsessive - that was an experience. Shut up in a room the size of a cupboard with a woman who couldn't sing for toffee. Best part about her set was her OCD-related spoof of "My Favourite Things" - "Those who say less when they really mean fewer". Grrr!!
- Sarah Millican - <3
- Something about Hitler and… I don't even know - it was in a piano bar and Nick Pynn was there after.
- Starbucks - massive hot chocolate and a "skinny muffin" - believe it or not, one of my favourite parts of the trip!
- That bloke from 4 poofs and a piano. He was brilliant value actually. Free Fringe is a top idea.
- 3D Hamlet. Not impressed. Captain Janeway blew us out!
- I Am Google. Bloke pretending to be Google. Geeky bliss.
- Some woman in the back of The Three Sisters doing character comedy. No idea who she was - this is why I should blog more!
- JEN BRISTER IN THE DARK.
- A Kind of Surprise
- We must have seen more than that…
- Food and drink highlights - the walk down Morningside… ice cream parlour, that AMAZING pub with the snugs, the american-themed bar near the park, Grassmarket, Last Drop, Italian restaurant on Royal Mile (DONT GO THERE), ice cream near Royal Mile, pasties (standard), take away pizzas (ugh), OINK!, the bar on the campsite, champagne cocktail
- Tears in the Grassmarket pub. Amazing what a difference 4 months makes.
- Day trip to North Berwick
- Staying in Carlisle for absolutely no reason at all. Not my best idea. I was a bit mental from the whole losing my job thing.

Catherine Tate
I met Catherine Tate! And Nicola Walker. Hung around the stage door, was proper star struck - it sounds beyond sad but I'm really glad I did it! Season's Greetings was a really brilliant play too.

Frisky & Mannish the second
Had to see them again. The show was longer at the Lowry, which by the way is a beautiful venue which I should have taken more photos of!

Melanie Chisholm
Yay! Did a mad dash to see her at G-A-Y between Invocal rehearsals (not really worth it), and a mad dash to see her in Liverpool after Invocal gig with awful hangover (totally worth it). Looking forward to Manchester!

Ani in Birmingham - this happened so early on I forgot it was this year! Amazing show. I know I said F&M were the best act I've seen all year, I think Ani pips them slightly. Looking forward to 11th Jan.

Loudon Wainwright III
Was so drunk at the start of this gig that I had to close one eye for most of it. Not cool. Sobered up toward the end and got our photos taken with him and his daughter Lucy. That was cool.

KT Tunstall
We were late for this show :( KT Tunstall is a legend though.

And then there were a whole heap of other things in no order at all:

Lakestar
This is what's taken up most of my time recently, which I guess it should do really. In September I got a proper job and actually learned about SEO. Learning about ecommerce, getting to grips with some cool Excel formulas, finding out what snow socks are. Top firm, top work, commute's a bitch (x) challenge but the company makes it bearable. Now we've got Spotify it'll be even more bearable.

Sweets
I've eaten a lot of these this year. Percy Pigs. Randoms. Eric the Elephants. Choc Eclairs. Yum.

Moomins - late addition to my life - I discovered them at the age of 26. They are the cutest things ever and I'm a tiny bit obsessed. Went to the Moomin shop after Christmas and bought something quite expensive. Should have taken advantage of the trip to Finland really.

iPhone
What can I say? Best thing I ever bought until...

MacBook Pro
Best thing anyone could ever buy.

Being in London for the riots

Traffic
There's been a lot of that. The M60 is the bane of my life.

Being a travel blogger
For about three months I had a job as a travel blogger. A desk-bound travel blogger. Strange. Got some really good long tail search success for Edinburgh Fringe though

I did a sponsored silence which resulted in many post it notes being thrown at people.

Yet another flirtation with Atkins diet
Cauliflower, eggs, meat, cheese. Cauliflower, eggs, meat, cheese. And custard, but we don't talk about the custard.

Learning bass and keyboards
Yeah had to sort this one out pretty sharpish for band. I am now a much better bassist and an OK keyboard player.

Spice Girls Exhibit - Todmorden - Nation of Shopkeepers
Cheeky little Yorkshire day trip. Amazing breakfast in Tod, amazing lunch in Leeds.

LA Noire
Nowhere near as good as GTA but a good game nonetheless.

Skyrim
Latecomer - haven't played nearly enough Xbox this year - will rectify this in 2012 (GTA coming out!!!) I'm not big on fantasy but Skyrim looks like it could persuade me to like it more.

The Crimson Petal and the White
A really fab period drama that unexpectedly had Gillian Anderson in it. Much better than Great Expectations.

Prime Suspect
Ah yes this was the year we watched all of Prime Suspect in about a week.

How To Be A Woman
Best book I read all year

Jagerbombs
Canal Street, Helsinki, Reading, my Mum's house :D

Lake District camping
Just before they made us redundant, our former employer organised an away day in the Lake District which I didn't quite go to. All them lot did tank driving and archery and stuff, and I had a panic attack and didn't bother. Did go for the evening drinks though, the day before I had to go to London. Got no sleep, but I had a really lovely time.

A few people got married.

A load of people got engaged! I didn't.

Got a new best friend though.

And still have the love of a very lovely woman, who's learning new skills as I type, dead proud. It's our 11th anniversary on Tuesday...

So there you have it - first 4 months were pretty much walk walk walk, last 4 months were pretty much band band band work work work. And some fab things in between. Life is good, and I reckon it's going to get better.

How Does Mum Get To The Royal Free Today?

If my mother wants to get to the Royal Free Hospital today, she will need to get on the following buses:

149 bus to South Tottenham station (or 259/279 bus to Seven Sisters and walk)

And then take the following trains:

South Tottenham-Gospel Oak Overground

Change at Gospel Oak

Gospel Oak to Hampstead Heath

Here is some live travel news for you: http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tfl/livetravelnews/realtime/tube/default.html

The Pros and Cons of the Atkins Diet

Pros

1. A profound sense of wellbeing, at least after the first 7 days. Prior to embarking on this diet I had been experiencing serious mood swings that were affecting my home and work life. I haven't felt this happy all year. Things that used to wind me up aren't winding me up anymore. 

2. Reduced appetite. Takes a few days to kick in, granted. You might need all the willpower you can muster until it happens, but it's worth the effort. No longer being a slave to food can give you such a natural buzz. Slightly anorexic behaviour perhaps. With added cheese.

3. Cheese. Pretty liberal amounts of cheese. When I first did Atkins and didn't read the book properly I practically lived off cheese. But that's OK. I have a vegetarian friend that dips in and out of Atkins - she can eat as much cheese as she likes! 

4. A (nearly) full English every day. Bacon, eggs, mushrooms, sausage (within reason). Every single day. Hard to get sick of that.

5. Cauliflower mash and pizza crust. Now hear me out. Pureed cauliflower mixed with sour cream, butter and cheese makes for an excellent mashed potato substitute. Just ask anyone on the Internet. 

6. Drinking chocolate with cream. This is the only diet where you can sort of get away with this - only something like 10 carbs in it. Be warned though - it is possible to consume 800 calories in about 30 seconds this way, wouldn't recommend consuming it every day!

7. The curious satisfaction that comes with weeing on a stick and watching it turn pink.

8. Oh, and the actual weight loss. If you're obese, and if you're doing the diet right, generally you'll lose at  least 10lb during induction.

Cons

1. The whole Detox element. It's gonna hurt. If you follow the diet to the letter and give up starch, sugar, caffeine and dodgy sweeteners all at once it's going to be like the 8th level of hell for a while. It's called induction flu. Some sources say pamper yourself to help ride it out. I just had a Shameless marathon.

2. Sometimes you try really hard, avoid all the bread and pasta and rice and potatoes and all, and still don't lose weight. You find yourself fixating on "cheating" with chewing gum and cups of tea and cans of diet coke. No normal diet does that to people. Gum shouldn't make you gain weight, but apparently the sugar alcohols in it can cause sensitive people to stall.

3. All the time you have to spend in the kitchen. The food prep eats into your time. You can no longer just grab something on the fly. But just grabbing things is part of the reason why I got so fat in the first place. I'm spending about 1.5 hours a day in the kitchen at the moment, which isn't so bad if you enjoy cooking, and I do.

4. No booze. That takes some getting used to, but again, that's why I got so fat in the first place.

5. People think you're absolutely mental, with your numerous lunch boxes, denial of all normal foods and abstinence from alcohol. Why can't you have fruit? It's just one biscuit. It's just a crisp. Why aren't you drinking? Well I'm a pregnant alcoholic on antibiotics and I'm driving. Does that sound better than "I'm on Atkins"? I don't know. But remember it's nobody's business what you eat or drink. I've found people really aren't that bothered after they've asked you once. They'll soon be wrapped up in their own lives again. Took me a while to realise, but the world doesn't revolve around me.

6. And again, people think you're mental. It's all very ritualistic in the beginning - special breakfast, special lunch, special dinner. But it's no different to anyone else who's on a diet, they're just as mental.

7. No bread :( Worst of all...

8. NO BAKED BEANS. I usually eat baked beans with everything. Now cauliflower is the new baked beans. You heard it here first. Tell your kids.

9. (sorry) Constipation. Oddly on day 2 of my last foray into Atkins I had an alarming bout of diarrhoea up a mountain. Really odd. But yeah, expect bowel havoc for a while until your body grasps what you're up to.

10. Smelly breath. Oh boy oh boy. Just keep drinking water and you should be fine.

11. What with all the fresh meat and vegetables you consume as part of your new healthy lifestyle, it costs a shitload of money.

12. And finally, people think you're mental. Get used to it, you're going to be a bit of a weirdo for a while.  A thinner weirdo. Good luck!

Stupid Atkins diet.
Stupid work do full of carbs and beer.
Stupid period making me not lose weight and feel all upset about it.
Stupid cost of the whole damn thing!
Stupid life getting in the way. This experiment is over for now. My appetite has decreased enough to switch diets. Time for round 2.

Day 21

This diet is really getting on my nerves. It basically takes an hour to cook and eat breakfast nowadays. True, I wasn't actually eating breakfast before, but that's not the point. I also haven't lost any weight ALL week. So I'm feeling a bit fed up with the whole thing. Decided to stick with it til Monday, as I've got the whole weekend's food all planned out, and then re-assess the situation. But today I am cheating with lots of tea and gum so I don't expect amazing results.

Day 18

Rhubarb doesn't appear to be in season. I'm quite sure most of the fruit in the shop wasn't in season really - when's pineapple season? I'll have a dig around for rhubarb in other shops - I will get my rhubarb and custard!

TOM today. Have gained 1.5lb since yesterday. I'm probably going to go against the advice of many people on the internet and keep weighing myself through my cycle, just to get a good idea of exactly what happens really. I hope the weight gain is due to the TOM and not those flavoured vodkas I imbibed on Saturday. Time will tell I guess. Still feeling really mentally well, getting all my to-do list sorted like a normal person, just a bit tired today, prob period-related.

Ooh and somebody came round tonight with a huge gift for me. 20 cans of Strongbow and a box of Celebrations. Dammit. Fortunately these things can wait until I'm thinner.

HEY! Rhubarb IS in season according to Wiki. Booths is just crap. Exists in Sainsbury's, Asda and Waitrose. Seriously can't wait for Waitrose, I'm going to be there every day!

Day 17

A revelation!! Rhubarb and custard! I can have rhubarb and custard on Atkins! True I never really ate rhubarb and custard when I wasn't on Atkins, but this could be the perfect pudding!