Review of my year

I always have to do one of these because I love myself. Also because I'm getting old and am finding it harder to remember everything I've ever done. So here goes. My highlights of the last year are as follows (in no particular order):

Unplugged Preston gig with Invocal. Was a lot of fun. Was also the day The Daily Patsy was born, a momentous occasion in itself. Didn't actually see them that much this year, saw them in Reading, Newcastle, Wirksworth, Brighton, Northampton couple of times. Poor Show. Must try harder.

Melanie C in Blood Brothers, seen that twice. First time from the gods, second time front row. I intend to see it at least another three times, and I think I'll try for the middle of the stalls or front of the dress circle. Bloody brilliant show. She's in it til April, and she's worth every penny.

Madonna at the MEN! Despite the length of time she kept us waiting, and the lack of air conditioning, it was incredible. She did a rock version of Dress You Up, my favourite song of hers. And I got the tickets cheap. Cheap! All these women on the train back going on about how they paid £200 a ticket. I paid £100 for two. Mugs.

Fleetwood Mac, also at the MEN. I shall quote Tom on this: "Lindsey Buckingham is a beautiful man". He really is. Best guitarist I've ever seen.

Pink, also at the MEN, in my opinion the show of the year.

Britney Spears at the O2

1984 at the National Media Museum with John Hurt as BB.

Thriller Live with Denise Pearson of Five Star fame.

Dublin trip.

Dorset / Bath trip.

Devon trip.

Norfolk trip to see the hippos.

Penguin hunt / Mac purchase.

iknow Lancaster, March Christmas do, National Business Awards, Christmas do in Liverpool, has been a good year for work's nights out.

Related to the above, I've definitely got a proper job now :)

More to follow...

Return to the gym

That's that really. Can't believe I haven't been for so long, as such am hideously unfit. Errr, bought more hair dye, errr. Oh yeah, more Google Maps nonsense - Penwortham Cop Lane Railway Station. WTF?

Google Maps is wrong

First Penworthamdale, then Oarwen, and now Argleton. As I constantly hear a wise woman say, it's just not good enough!

I bought one

:D :D :D

New Wish List

I want to build a recording studio in my garden, but I don't think I'm ever going to have the money to do that properly anytime soon, so the cheaper idea is to make room for all the gear in the house, probably in the dining room. I will need:

- a new laptop to remove the boy from taking up permanent residence in there
- a Mac - with loads of RAM
- The new Logic Studio
- New mixing desk
- Sexy midi keyboard
- New leads

This will happen soon!

Hitchin + Northampton

This was going to be a long moany entry about me wanting a lot of things I can't have, mainly a NEW CAR. Poor me.

This week I have...

Travelled 49.08km by foot, bike and cross trainer
Spent 399 minutes...what's that... 6h39m doing CV exercise

That'll do for now I think.

Personal Best / Main Monkey / Wagon Day

Cycled home in 32 mins today (http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3200519) .

Got promotion today.

Fell off the wagon today. Never mind eh?

More cycling to work

Sorry these are all quite boring at the moment.

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3192518

The Best Hangover Cure in the World Ever

Going there - http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3182771
Coming back - http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3182757

I (kind of) Know North East

I don't know how to feel about North East England. Two things must ye know of the North East. On one hand, there are some great village & town names there. Personal favourites include Priestpopple, Nunnykirk and Pity Me. On the other hand, a boy from the North East sabotaged my prized street on the new Monopoly City Streets game. Which doesn't work properly by the way. But it's still game on.

Giggage

Did a gig in Northampton last night, supporting the mighty Invocal. And I love them very very much.

Does anybody want a job?

Job job job

Trip to Devonshurrr

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=102531616469626532539.0004720fb6d74edc75b45&ll=50.501199,-3.77243&spn=0.870008,2.469177&z=9

Let's do that again

Well it appears my blog appears quite highly in Google for the most random things so I've decided to start writing about very important serious issues, namely:

1) Kerry Katona's series of unfortunate events, also a person's inclination to do a Kerry (that is, "feeling a bit bipolar today")
2) The soundtrack in my head
3) Fat cycling
4) Patsy Palmer
5) UK Travel - for work see here, here and here, for play see here mostly, and sometimes here, and very very occasionally here. Not that the last link has anything to do with travel but there you go.
6) Preston, Lancashire
7) Old computer games like Cruise for a Corpse and Fantasy World Dizzy.
8) Fat running

And much much more. Toodle pip.

Get. In.

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3115250

I'm on my way I think.

Odd signage in Bognor

That I forgot to report. Breakfast "is served".

I am rubbish

I suck at an amazing amount of things, mostly sticking to my exercise regime, and blogging. I am very good at drinking gin though. Very good indeed. The plan is to cycle to work tomorrow.

More woe

I'm trying my hardest to appear unfazed by all this Michael Jackson business, but I'm still totally gutted. It's even worse that he died in that way.

This is awful.

The only words I can bring to mind are "important" and "everything". And that's about it. Sounds silly/mad/childish to say these kind of words about a pop star, but it's the truth, and it really really hurts.

"I don't care, that boy will always be Cher's daughter to me!"

This weekend's been quite a foodie one. Went to Huntleys food hall yesterday, a place we never knew existed, but will definitely be making return trips to. 80 different flavours of ice cream. 80! We got banana, strawberry cheesecake and "Eddie's Heavy Weight", a dark chocolate/honeycomb fusion thingy. http://www.huntleys.co.uk/icecream.php Also bought hemp beer (?), posh pop, a boule loaf and a frighteningly cheap and strong cider that we couldn't quite bring ourselves to drink. I made an Elvis sandwich out of my boule loaf. Actually, I made a cheese, ham and pickle sandwich, but it was Elvis-sized at least.

BBQ yesterday too. I took 180 pics with the new fit camera and generally made a total nuisance of myself. Then I realised I'd locked my keys in my car and had to call the Autonational Rescue. Never again.

Where have I been?

Suddenly realised today I can't recall how many Brighton Prides I've been to. This troubles me. I *think* I've been to three, narrowly missing a fourth.

2001 - Lugging a keyboard all the way to Brighton on a National Express coach. Correction: enlisting the help of a nice German girl and getting her to carry my keyboard for me. And there was no real reason why, as I didn't end up playing it in the end. But I remember that one quite well anyway.
2002 - Bought a purse that I duly lost in a cab a few months later. Took Roadrunner pills (??) Felt like I had the flu and that was about it.
2004 - Won a free bus trip to Brighton Pride with the Glass Bar crew for coming last in their quiz.
2006 - Didn't go to Pride but saw The Band the night before and slept in a field with some lesbians claiming the only man that could ever teach them was the son of a preacher man.

And I'm sure that's it. 2003 was working in a factory, 2005 was working at the cricket, 2007 + 2008 was probably working for Hilliam Will. But I have this nagging feeling I've stayed at that campsite twice. Anyway anyway.

But where have I been recently? I might forget this if I don't write it down. Went to London to see Britney at the O2 with Jo and enjoyed seeing her walk. Went to Northampton last weekend on a whim and drank a lot of Baileys, amongst other things. Have been mostly working and slowly going insane.

I don't blog enough these days

Just quickly, went to this on Weds, was excellent - http://www.flickr.com/photos/mediamuseumevents/sets/72157619191694391/

Britney Spears on Sunday. I don't expect it'll as much of a hard-hitting cultural experience but you never know.

Cow Parade

This would do.

http://www.cowparade.com/inc/yourcity.php

Ruby's Room

http://www.bbc.co.uk/headroom/rubys/

This is great.

Hippo Hunt...

...was excellent, it was just a pity so many of them were inside shops as it was Sunday and everything was closed. Preston needs a Hippo Hunt, or a Moose Mission. I vote for a Moose Mission. Something involving lambs might be more appropriate, but that might be too much like the Superlambananas. Anyway, big animal sculpture trail in Preston, it would work.

Beer Festival at The Railway

I went to this on Saturday but it wasn't much to write home about. Or, indeed, write a blog about. Dead excited about this weekend though - HIPPO HUNT!!!

Bored

Probably should have gone to the Conti, too shy really, but now too bored!!

Singing Ringing Tree II

Feel very cheated. The Singing Ringing Tree neither sings nor rings in gale force winds. What's the point?? I did kind of half enjoy the running across the moors without a coat madness though, even if it did result in a half hour wheeze.

Scotch Piper Inn

I went to the "oldest pub in Lancashire" on Saturday, but on closer inspection it actually appears to be in Merseyside. I suppose they mean "Real Lancashire".

Cinnamon Spice

The lazy takeaway was vile. So oily. Wouldn't have been pleasant if I'd taken that new weight loss pill, let me tell you.

Sorry, I'm probably going to use the M word in this entry...

The Continental Beer Festival was excellent. The cider was lethal. Initially I was going to choose something called Moonshine at about 8%, but amazingly the barrel was empty. 8% cider at £2 a pint, sold out? Amazing. There wasn't a cider under 6% though, so it was all a little bit messy. I had Broadoak Cider and two pints of Pyder. Pyder was good, but we defected back to Strongbow after we started to go blind. The highlight of the evening was when Debs and Julie were comparing pints of Magus, one of them was drinking Maygus, the other Maggus. Apparently one was better than the other!

Watched the first episode of Boy Meets Girl this morning. I don't care how silly it was, I actually loved it. But I can't believe it took him/her that long to coughcoughmasturbatecoughcough. Surely that's the first thing you'd do if you suddenly changed sex. Not get all freaked out about how you're not yourself anymore, no way. Just masturbate until it was all over. Maybe.

Just about to watch The Handmaid's Tale finally. Have been stripping doors and digging. Lazy takeaway is on its way.

Woe

I clearly haven't been anywhere hugely exciting recently. We did go to the Halo and the Singing Ringing Tree the other week, but aside from that... I am looking forward to going to the beer festival at The Continental though!

Oh and I was pleased to read...

...that I sing pretty songs about misery and hatred.

"You're a JOKE!!!"

Have recently returned from a brief trip to the South coast, in which me, that moany old woman and them lot went to 'Swaynage' (© a boy whose privacy I'm not allowed to invade 2009), Lulworth Cove, Durdle Door, Corfe Castle, Bath, Longleat, a TK Maxx in Bristol, a military firing range, and a £3.50 carvery in the Birmingham 'burbs. All very marvellous. I've wanted to visit Lulworth Cove ever since it was missed out on my Year 12 geography field trip. Beautiful place, and very nice ice cream. We were the only guests at the campsite in Swanage, which was probably for the best considering the mess we made of the campfire.

Moved on to Bath on the Wednesday via Corfe Castle, which we didn't visit on account of the extortionate prices the National Trust like to charge, so we just gazed at it from afar. Think I've been there before anyway, but I could only remember the car park. Went to Bath and went TREASURE HUNTING which was almost the best thing ever. Have to make up some proper rules for next time though. Finally on Thursday we went to Longleat Safari Park, after we had to call Autonational Rescue because of excessive iPod charging. Then began the looooooooong journey home involving the £3.50 carvery in Brum. Fun fun fun.

Oh aaaaaaaaaaand I have the best new sleeping bag in the world!

Rachel Duncan is not an acoustic lesbian

This is a test really just to see where this shows up in Google.

Edit: Duh, it's a Google blog, of course it'll come top.

"And it goes a little something...like this!"

Me and that moany old cow went to Newcastle on Thursday to see Invocal and spent a long time drinking in the Travelodge bar. It wasn't all it was promised to be on Trip Advisor - we expected to see a whole lot more debauchery, but the most debauched thing that happened was the sneaking of cans from upstairs and someone briefly forgetting it was illegal to light up indoors. The Hyena Comedy Club need to sort their shit out. I was all for writing some kind of letter of complaint, but I'm sure a passive aggressive casual aside in a blog nobody reads will upset them just as much.

Really liked Newcastle as a city, had my hair cut by a brilliant stylist from...can't remember...John Gerard or something, yeah that's it. Excellent Travelodge, gorgeous bed, great bar food in The Old George, great cider in the Head of Steam, great housing estate and football ground/athletics stadium in Gateshead, great bridges, just great really. Great breakfast in the Eye on the Tyne! Great!

We returned to Preston the following day for The Angel gig. I covered one of Debbie's tunes, did System Addict which at least Annette found hilarious, and was generally entertaining, disturbing, ascerbic and gorgeous. Seriously though, it went very very well, and Invocal were fantastic as always, even more fantastic perhaps as they did Give Back My Brain. The night took a turn for the surreal as we sat upstairs in the Angel surrounded by kitchen furniture, then we all had squashed frogs at ours and theeeeeen... don't know. I think I was rather huggy.

Brief update, dance show, desk building

Not a lot happened this weekend. I lost the Grand National a gazillion times, built a desk, saw a dance show at the Charter Theatre involving someone near and dear and drank a lot of cider round Jill's. Jolly good fun actually, especially the "fuck off and die lol", "die motherfucker die lol" etc exchange of ideas. Even if we did wake up this morning not finding it *quite* as funny...

GIG!

In case this is of any interest to anybody...
I am supporting

Invocal
at
The Angel, Lune Street, Preston
on
(Good) Friday, April 10th
at
8pm ish
for
FREE

Invocal are the best band in the world, I think I once described them as unique and brilliant. I have recently been described as (in no particular order) ascerbic, disturbing and gorgeous. Maybe it was just my tunes that are gorgeous, I forget.

Anyway anyway

http://www.myspace.com/invocal
http://www.myspace.com/njmott

Love and Other Disasters + Sex Ed vs Porn docu

I have watched these things and I haven't done a lot else!

London trip + Tanya Byron

Kind of lost my way a bit during this trip, got to see a lot of people though, saw Debbie which was marvellous. We had lunch at the Orange Tree in Totteridge and she told me how she'd accidentally driven down Totteridge Lane on the right hand side of the road, as in the incorrect side. Oh how we laughed, before we realised how dangerous that could have been! I was battling a raging hangover at the time though, don't think I was the best company. A raging hangover as a result of downing ridiculous shots in Bar Story under Peckham Rye station with peeps. Yeah, I know.

In happier news, that moany old cow and I went to see Prof Tanya Byron's inaugural lecture at Edge Hill yesterday. I (regrettably?) did not purchase any useless signed child psychology books.

Ow

Too much drinking, not enough walking.

Londinium!

Seriously the best city in the world, once you work out exactly how to tackle it. I did some walking yesterday.

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2657631 - Kings Cross to Euston via Russell Square

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2657637 - Hampstead tube to Gospel Oak over Hampstead Heath

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2657641 (yes I am clutching at straws here - this was necessary rather than desired)

6km in total. Not bad.

Marvellous day

Three things.
1. Century Radio pop quiz
2. Mad numbers of Yorkshire site visitors
3. Google Maps street view.

I was on Century Radio today winning a digital radio in the pop quiz. Apparently I sounded grumpy, bored and other negatives, but the point is I WON and thankfully they don't have listen again so I can rest easy. In other news, IKnow Yorkshire received more than treble the usual site visitors on account of a property on Grand Designs being one of our listings. Then I came home and found my house full of random children and brother-(not really)-in-laws.

And and and - GOOGLE MAPS STREET VIEW. Fucking brilliant bit of kit, especially as it covers London and Liverpool, the only places that really ever need covering!

Walk

I *think* this is where I walked on Saturday.
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2638858

Going Underground, Keswick & Catbells, gorging on food

On Friday we decided it wouldn't be at all weird to go and see a local theatre group perform a play about people on the London Underground at the Conti. It was *slightly* weird actually. I had a few problems with the play.

1. You can't go "round and round" the Central line, it is a geographical impossibility. Have since discovered that it's supposed to be round and round the Circle line but if that's the case...
2. You can't get phone reception on the Circle line!
3. One member of the cast was decidedly wooden. I won't name and shame, it's not fair, maybe they were nervous. Most of the cast were excellent.

Good play though. I feel like a total geek now. I'd like to point out that it was that moany old cow who insisted on going. I just went along for the beer.

On Saturday we decided it was a good idea to go for a gentle stroll in the Lake District. A gentle stroll. Not an 11 mile hike around and up what was almost certainly a MOUNTAIN. Catbells is supposed to be a fell, but it was definitely a mountain. Maybe it was the hurricane we got caught in, I don't know. I fell over many times. Perhaps that's why it's called a fell.

Today I ate a lot, and we're going out to dinner in a bit. To the Conti, predictably.

Giggage

I had to use the made up word "giggage" somewhere, it was compulsory. I haven't played in public for nearly three years, but I seem to be supporting Invocal on April 10th at The Angel, Preston. This is very good news, it's just a shame that a lot of people I know seem to be leaving the North on that day.

Wagon Day, Reading and Windsor

Well that was the Lent-cut-short that was. I fully intended to stay sober for 40 days and nights, truly I did. Unfortunately the works night out happened. Unfortunately Cara's well-honed sales techniques happened. So of course I failed Lent. Quite worth it though, despite my newfound role as agony aunt. Loved the part where Adam and I sang the Smiths at everyone, was quite amused when Julian tried to kiss Michael too. Anyway, had a few. Had 24 hour panic attack as a result. Am weighing up the pros and cons.

Reading happened on Saturday, and as a result of Friday's exploits it wasn't the success I'd hoped. Spent most of the day dozing/sleeping/panic attacking, but made it to Rosie and co's gig after we saw a girl singing Mariah Carey covers. No, I don't know. I like Invocal as a trio. It's all very very good, but very very different.

Reading itself is a pile of poo. One way systems, poor road signs/markings, foul mouthed chavs at every turn. I may not return.

As a kind of apology I took the moany one to Windsor on Sunday morning. Don't think she was arsed, maybe it was an apology to myself. I wanted to experience some culture after I'd experienced some hangover. We vaguely inspected the outside of Windsor Castle and looked in a lot of gift shops that thought they were in London. Went to Jim Garrahy's Fudge Kitchen, stood, and delivered. It is nice fudge though, despite the daylight robbery.

Back at work now. Not an awful lot to report, am researching car parks. Thank fuck I'm drinking again.

Edit: I'm not drinking again actually, I have a mad fitness plan to embark on.

Noooooooooooooooooonnnnn, rien de rien...

That bloody Specsavers advert. I think it's been on for about a year now. We love it at work. Well when I say *love*...Martin mimics the voiceover guy incredibly well, and poor Leanne displays quite alarming behaviour whenever it's on. Has got to the stage where she's decided she wants it played at her funeral. Not the traditional version that people often have played at funerals, oh no. The one with the voiceover.

But in any case, somebody said this about a year ago on the Guardian Media blog (that how bloody long they've been playing this stupid advert):

"That's as obscene as using Billy [sic] Holiday's 'Strange Fruit' to promote Um Bongo."

They're missing a trick there...

Facebook Survey - Narcissism for Dummies

No-one's that arsed on Bookface, and if they are that arsed then they'll find my blog anyway.

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
No!

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
8 loooong years.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
That would be the Polar F11. But I did actually buy that myself initially. I think the last proper gift was the Centre of the Universe poster. Maybe I bought that myself too. The thing I definitely definitely didn't buy was my Underground map with all the bands on.

4. EVER DROPPED A MOBILEPHONE?
Uh-huh, I believe I even chucked one across the Charing Cross Road once.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Yesterday

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Beerage. Travelling to obtain beerage.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Chicken sandwich / S&V Crisps.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX?
The bulge in their trousers. Only joking. Or am I? Oh the *same* sex? Breasts. Sorry.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Ow by Invuuuurcal.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Preston, Lancs.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
The Whore House on the Hill, Barnet, Herts. QE Girls.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
T-Mobile

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Game...is this still true? Maybe Waterstones.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
2 looong years with Hilliam Will.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Yes

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
No

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Julie & Stephen's

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
I don't think I'd call any of them really...

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Saturday!

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Subway

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
We often end up in Nandos.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Sort of. I make stew-type things a lot that start off as curry or soup. Very tasty, not particularly pleasing to the eye.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
Vauxhall Astra. I miss my Subaru.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Last Saturday *rollseyes*.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Any fish that ain't cod.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My brain when it's behaving

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF
My brain when it's not behaving

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
Hmmm, I remember the longest shift I didn't bother with, that would have been 17 hours. Hang on. T in the Park. All in all it was about 36 hours really.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Four Weddings and a Funeral.

34. CAN YOU SING?
Yeah...

36. LAST KISS?
This morning I'd imagine.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED?:
We got The Island off Movies on Demand if that counts.

38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?:
iPod.

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT:
New York, DC, Dublin, all great.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Laptop

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN:
Victoria Wood

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
No

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With now I have the best pyjamas ever.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
HM.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Sort of...eventually...yeah they do.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Never

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Neither

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Nope

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
As a cheese omelette.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
Sort of

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
HM

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Toni

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
"No. I am going to my mothers now. Pigs. xxx"
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Red tracksuit top, le coq sportif t-shirt, kangol jeans, black docs. Have just realised the majority of that get up is quite chavvy. Oops.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs is in my head:
"They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers
In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers
Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes
I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood"
Whatever that means. A liner? A cruise liner? Page six lovers? It was the "get me out of my mind" line that was going round my head anyway.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
Absolutely not. This is something Scully finds hilarious.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?:
Not very well.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Chunky Monkey!

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Very much, deeply, passionately.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I like making lists of things as well as loving maps deeply and passionately. Work called me a round peg in a round hole.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Well I went to a fancy dress party in normal clothes once.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON:
Summer, when we have a summer.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?
Properly at about 7.45

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Absolutely nothing.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Never

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Ross the fish.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
I'm going to Reading for a "lesbian sex and dance evening" (Jill's words, not mine).

78. BIRTHDATE:
January 3rd.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
A rock star. I got my rock moves. Or not. Presently the dream is to become a travel writer.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yes

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Smirking really.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW:
Yeah.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Galapagos Islands.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
No

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Yeah

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?
Black and pink.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?
Er? I don't have a school.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
No.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
No.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER:
No.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
No.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Yeah.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yeah.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Yeah.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
Pendant thingy.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?:
Check what HM wants for tea.

That was RUBBISH!

The New and Improved Popstar Diet

From January 12th to February 22nd my diet was going splendidly. That was the cider and cake diet, and it was good. It all went to shit a little when I went on the wagon and replaced cider with Greggs and Indian food. So I'm having to tweak the diet a little now, really have to pay attention to the science.

Edit: I lost 4lb in two days. All is well.

Lake District

A rather whistlestop tour of the Lake District, to be precise. Toni-Ann came up and we went to the Lakeland Miniature Village in Grange-over-Sands. So OK, it may be in somebody's back garden and the model pigs may be exactly the same size as the model cows, but some of it was quite impressive. I wanted to go to the optical illusions museum in Keswick, but moany moany meh meh meh vetoed that, so we went on a random drive past Grizedale Forest (in which Toni and moany were Babes in the Wood and I was Michael Jackson), then Little Langdale and Eskdale (in which Toni encountered sheep in the flesh). Then we got well and truly lost. I'm sure at some stage we went up Sca Fell, it was that steep! Finally reached civilisation at Broughton-in-Furness and contemplated going in a restaurant in a square, but noticed it was empty and we're not that stupid. Errr, not a lot else happened. We just spent a lot of time in the car feeling sick and smelling burning rubber. Came back to ours, got an Indian and watched The Island. Not a brilliant film, best avoided. I'm going to watch The Handmaid's Tale in a bit.

Worms

So yeah, let's do some worms.

Random adventures
Contrary to popular belief, I actually prefer my adventures to be meticulously planned, rather than random. But I have been on some pretty random adventures since turning 16, most of which have been brought on by excessive consumption of whatever. My favourite adventure that happened entirely at random and unexpectedly was the one that involved sitting in a car with Debbie, being driven from Phoenix, AZ to Manchester, CT. Although very stressful it allowed me to see an awful lot more of the country than I would have. Would never have seen the Jesus sign, wouldn't have crossed so many state lines, probably wouldn't have discovered chicken and bacon ranch Subways.

As for random adventures in the mother country, I regret the way I dealt with most of them really. I dislike the National Express, I dislike Megabus, and I hate driving/being driven, stopping every 20 mins to let one of our party throw up.

Guitars
I don't have as many of these as I used to. I gave one away to the Mind shop in Northampton, which was rather fitting actually. That was the cheap and cheerful one I bought in DC. It was never the same after we decided it could be left in an untreated shed for a couple of years. I own a Mexican Strat, but the only one of my guitars I actually play is my sexy blue Ovation Celebrity that I bought for my 21st. Aw bless it, it's only 3 years old.

Lesbian camping
Lesbian camping and random adventures are similar animals really. Two WITfests and that-trip-to-Ullswater-with-a-woman-who-is-definitely-not-a-lesbian-and-a woman-now-known-to-us-all-as-"Carl" later, they kind of start to lose their appeal. I did like the time when Me, moany moany, Kate and Kaylene were "the rudest people we've ever met" though. Especially the part when Kate put on her miners helmet and blinded everybody in the field. Have I done any other lesbian camping? Not exclusively so, I don't think so. There was a discussion on Saturday about descending on a Pagan festival in Silverdale at some stage, but I severely doubt that'll go ahead now.


Music
Classical music sucks. Popular music rules. I can't stand Absolute radio. Katy Perry must die.

Identity
I'm still working on my OU essay about this, but it's OK as I gave up the course and now I'm doing it just for fun. Not sure what I think about identity really. I did the Twenty Statements Test with moany moany and some children. Some of the fun things that came up were:

"I'm scared of wars"

OK that was the most fun thing that came up. I'll give this some more thought.

Day 2 of Lent

As I said to Michelle this morn, no problem, piece of cake!

Day 1 of Lent

Moany and I are keeping a video diary of our alcohol-free Lent, and I thought I'd try and do a written one as well. I still have no desire for alcohol whatsoever after Saturday's exploits, and that's about it!

No, but seriously

I WILL not do it again.

Worms + Beautiful Disasters

Random adventures
Guitars
Lesbian camping
Music
Identity

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these, but I'll come back to them.

Got too drunk in Liverpool yesterday. Too too drunk. I may not do it again.

I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom

Blackpool Prom, that is. Especially in February, in the dark. Making fun of all the seafront accommodation. The best sign was the one that said Over "100" Seats, as if 100 was a euphemism. All very odd. At least they're regenerating the sea wall. I walked just over 5km today.

Blahblah Blahblah blah-blahblah (mehmeh) blahblah

I'm supposed to mention blabla in my new journal. So there.

Hack Green, Watching & Les Mis

Firstly, I've done Preston to Prenton in a week, but that's obviously down to all the cycling and that long walk we did last Saturday. I'll see if I can cycle for 2.5 hours today, that should mean I do it in a day. Yeah. Maybe not. Maybe see if I can do it in 2 days.

In other news, moany moany and I went to Hack Green Secret Nuclear Bunker for our Valentine's treat. That may sound highly unromantic, but it was jolly good fun nonetheless, and it was amusing to see a "secret" bunker so clearly signposted everything. I imagined it would be a slightly more authentic experience really. The nearest we got to an authentic experience was the dark room with the flashing red lights, as if that signified a nuclear explosion. It was fun though, not least because we kept seeing the words "Bikini Alert" everywhere, which made us giggle like the immature idiots we clearly are. Pics on Twatter/Bookface in any case. The plan afterwards was to go and "take a closer look at Nantwich", as advised by the tourist board, but instead we had a brief look at Aldi and I gorged on Haribo coz I've lost a stone. Woohoo!

Bought a box set of apparently sexy films, two of which I've seen and adore (Cruel Intentions and Closer), one of which had Catherine Tate in it (Scenes of a Sexual Nature). We watched the Catherine Tate one. It was shite. It did make me want to go to Hampstead Heath quite badly though. After that we watched an obscene amount of Watching, which made me want to go to Liverpool quite badly. Some kind of warped homesickness I guess. Maybe one day I'll feel that way about Preston, that is, if anyone decides to make a film or sitcom set in Preston, which they won't, so there's really no danger is there?

Watched the first half of Les Mis after. It's grim and long, and I realised why I'd never bothered with it before.

Preston to Prenton

is more than complete now. Now to do it quicker. It took about four weeks, now I have my toy I can record these things more accurately. Whee!

Russell Brand, Patsy Palmer and the Polar F11

Brief update. Scully and I went to see Russell Brand on Wednesday. He was not as funny as I thought he'd be, and I can't remember a heck of a lot of the material, apart from the lengthy analysis of all the Andrew Sachs business, and a particularly icky bit referring to "Mummy Helen" Mirren. Sigh. Had a bloody good night though all in all, I felt like I'd drank Canal Street dry.

Fish and chips flavoured crisps. Wrong.

I finished reading Patsy Palmer's autobiography... EDIT... and although I didn't like it at the time, I learned to love it.

On Friday my Polar F11 arrived, and it was good. Sure it told me I'm off the chart fitness-wise (and not in a good way) and it's taken me hours to work out how to transfer data from the watch to my computer, but it's a fucking good bit of kit. The best part is being in the gym messing up other people's heart rate readings due to the electrodes across my chest. Hee hee. We went walking all round Penwortham yesterday and I think I burned off 650 calories just doing that. Most impressive.

Not a lot else to report. We went out drinking with Annette and Carol and I couldn't really keep up and now I'm paying for it.

Merseyrailing Part 1: Scouting Mission

So, Merseyrailing.

Years and years ago my friends and I came up with the idea of Merseyrailing rather than Interrailing, based on the phenomenal difference in price between a Saveaway and an Interrail pass. We never got round to it though, and I've been thinking of new and interesting ways to do travel writing so I took the idea out of mothballs. Was very impressed to find this blog, very comforting to find someone who has had the same idea. Our (mine, Kat and Em's) idea of Merseyrailing always involved a pub crawl though, so pub crawl we (me and moany) did. moany was not particularly enamoured by the idea of visiting random pubs on the Wirral. In fact as we passed through everywhere on the way to Chester she was like "I'm not going there, there or there". She soon changed her tune once she got some Strongbow inside her!

So here's the strategy. Visit station, visit pub, visit place of interest/attraction. The attraction part was moany's idea. I tried to explain that there's probably no attractions in Ellesmere Port, but we tried our best. I'll have to do a list now, but at some stage I want to do an interactive map.

1.
Station: Lime Street
Pub: Didn't go initially, but we went to Doctor Duncans as usual, and got a can from Coopers on the way back, and I've been to millions of pubs round Lime Street anyway.
Attraction: Yeah, like I said, same again. Millions of attractions, went to uni there for 4 years. Haven't been on the Yellow Duckmarine though, and haven't been to the World Museum. This will have to be rectified at some point.

2.
Station: Port Sunlight
Pub: Failure there, we went to the tea rooms instead, and nearly left without paying.
Attraction: Port Sunlight Museum, we bought the "Centre of the Universe" map, which nicely compliments my Underground map made up of musicians and genres. We had a wander around, commented on the "bridges over nothing" and the "voodoo dolls" on some front doors. I like Port Sunlight a lot.

3.
Station: Chester
Pub: We walked out of many pubs on account of the lack of Strongbow. We did stop in Ye Olde Custom House Inn and the Town Crier. Nothing noteworthy about either pub, Custom House doesnt seem that Ye Olde anymore really. I might have to start a list of pubs moany's made me walk out of...
Attraction: Had a look at Chester Cathedral, bought St Christopher medals. Briefly went shopping and bought compulsory Lush soap.

4.
Station: Bache (and so the madness begins)
Pub: The Egerton Arms. I quite liked it here. I outlined my theories of creation to moany and she called me a narcissist. Ah well.
Attraction: No. There's a Bargain Booze, a Morrisons and a chip shop. Apparently you're supposed to alight there for Chester Zoo too. moany nearly pulled a gobbing youth.

5.
Station: Capenhurst (or Copenhagen as moany kept calling it)
Pub: No. Google Maps lied. There was a long long road to a roundabout, and an alarming amount of Country Brappage.
Attraction: Again, no, but at least I can say I've been there.

6.
Station: Hooton
Pub: Hooton Hotel. moany HATED it here. It was fine by me, there was a roaring (gas) fire, and it was amusing to see people drinking tomato juice and Worcester sauce (wtf?)
Attraction: No. We were a bit worse for wear by this point to be honest.

So that was the MerseyTrek that was. Part 1. It's a lot harder than it looks.

Some links
Chester Cathedral
Port Sunlight

#System Aaaaaadict#

I'm toying with the idea of doing open mic, but I shall only perform bad cover versions, and I'm working on System Addict coz it's my theme tune.

Read the reviews for Thriller Live. The general consensus is that Denise Pearson is the best thing about the show. But of course.

I don't think I have any more Five Star related news, but I still find it amusing that whenever I listen to their Greatest Hits I get GTA flashing up in my memory, specifically the San Andreas level. I must have spent too much time playing GTA to a Five Star soundtrack as a kid. Other weird GTA/pop music associations I have are Dean Friedman's Kids Songs album and Vice City, and the Evita soundtrack and GTAIV. I have also been toying with the idea of digging my video games essay out and sending it to Dr Collins like I promised to eleventy years ago. It would be nice to have something to show for my many months of stress, apart from that bit of paper by the front door.

We went to the Conti last night and were the last to leave AGAIN. Bloody good pub though, I wish we lived nearer.

Recently finished reading 'Fat' by Rob Grant, which was excellent. Currently struggling with 'Now and Forever' by Ray Bradbury, which isn't so much.

Wild West is very funny. And yes I do have a crush on Catherine Tate. There I've said it. Everyone's known it for ages except for me.

"You went all the way to Manchester for..."

...a Mango Mama smoothie, a plate of nachos not dissimilar to those served at The Font (urgh) and a rocky road sundae. 30 bloody quid. Stupid Krypton Factor. Apparently I'm in the priority queue for whatever else they film at Granada. I don't really want to go and watch Stars in Their Eyes...

Urgh

Not a huge amount to report - went to gym yesterday and discovered the joys of reading on my G1 while stationary biking. Am really stressed out with work - trying to fit umpteen types of shop into 10 restrictive categories is proving a bit draining. Catherine Tate was lovely on the Sunday Night Project though.

Trekking across Darkest Lancashire & Yorkshire

Or, rather, driving. We went to Rawtenstall, Huddersfield, Halifax and Hebden Bridge.

There is no other reason to go to Rawtenstall other than to visit Fitzpatricks Temperance Bar. It's not really a bar as such actually, it's more of a shop with a couple of chairs in it, but it's very historic and fascinating. We came back with some herbal teas called "Fat Buster" and "Excessive Appetite". I'm worrying that it'll actually give me an excessive appetite rather than cure me, but never mind. They're really only souvenirs. Like I said, absolutely no other reason to go to Rawtenstall, because everything's boarded up! There was a large theatre-type building for sale, and we did toy with the idea of buying it and opening a kind of "temperance club", but that could have been due to the fact we were giddy from the Blood Tonic. Very very sweet stuff, probably did irreparable damage to our diets.

From Rawtenstall (and by the way it took an age to get there, as moany still lacks the ability to interpret Google Maps, because it's basically shite) we went to Huddersfield to seek out a Waterstones in which we could spend FREE MONEY. And we did. I bought Fat by Rob Grant, some Ray Bradbury book which isn't Fahrenheit 451 but looks just as good, and Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson. moany decided she finally needs to read The Secret so she can figure out this cosmic ordering mullarkey. I think obtaining free money is proper evidence of it in effect, but hey. She also got a stoooopid Yvette Fielding book that I might accidentally burn whilst trying to conjure a demon. It appears we're not on the hellmouth after all. That's comforting.

From Huddersfield to Halifax. I really wanted to spend more time in Halifax. I must pay more attention to family this year. We didn't do much there, we went to the Old Cock, a ghastly place that had run out of Strongbow.

Finally, from Halifax to Hebden Bridge. Hebden Bridge is lovely. We stopped briefly in the Stubbing Wharf and realised you had to book a table to eat, so we didn't. Instead we went to the Hebden Bridge Picture House and watched Changeling. Bloody good film. Bloody upsetting film actually. It's the bit where they have her sectioned because she's disagreeing with and embarrassing the LAPD, it's horrible. It's a lovely cinema though, for a few reasons. You can have a cup of tea, they sell Chunky Monkey, it's only £4.50 to get in, and it's all historic and marvellous.

That was the day that was.

"Next time, just have the one"

There is a very good reason why I stopped drinking wine, it's coz it turns me into a loud, opinionated, unpredictable, potentially violent and/or promiscuous idiot. Apparently I was relatively harmless last night, waffling on about being the Bradford and Bingley, but nonetheless it's still not worth the risk. I stayed til closing at the Conti with Carol, we were the last to leave. Drinking on a school night though, I'm getting too old for this!

Back to the gym

Found my "designer" pants today, they were in the airing cupboard all along. So I went to the old gymnasium for the first time in about two months. It wasn't as much of a shock to the system as I thought it'd be. Mind you I didn't work all that hard. 30 mins on cross trainer, 15 mins recumbent bike, 5 min warm up on treadmill. I'll start doing my maps again soon.

"how to lose your ass and regain your life"

By Kirstie Alley. I'm reading this at the moment. I've got right back into reading and it's only taken, ooh, 7 months or so, after the whole undergraduate degree debacle. It's not really a diet book as such, but it is quite helpful as it's making me realise I'm not alone. Just finished Dear Fatty by Dawn French. Yet another book with a misleading weight related title. It was not as laugh out loud funny as I expected, in fact, it was pretty fucking weird in places. I think moany was right to give up on it at the first page. Alan Carr's book, on the other hand, is brilliant. So lots of books recently. I have £60 of free money to spend in either HMV or Waterstones at the weekend, and I'm afraid it just might have to be in Waterstones. Current wish list includes Notes From A Small Island and Fahrenheit 451.

Not much else on really. Still plodding along at work, day 2 of diet has gone splendiferously. I may go to the gym tomorrow in my non-designer tracksuit bottoms as my Adidas ones have gone missing. I am not a chav, I just can't shake some of the things I learned about fashion when I was a teenager.


Anything that isn't Nike, Reebok, Adidas, Ellesse, Kappa, Fila or Umbro is wrong.


Did we even have Lonsdale stuff when we were at school? There seems to be an alarming amount of it about now. And a lot of it ended up in my wardrobe when I was uber fat.

In other news, I have decided I really should go down to the 'pool and poke Yvette Fielding in the eye.

Today's Horoscope

" Staying on track can be quite a challenge for you today, for your mind likes wandering around more than concentrating on one thing at a time. But you can feel the pressure that others are placing on you and you're making every effort possible to do your part. Nevertheless, the tiniest distraction can be enough to take you on a detour. Don't be hard on yourself if you lose focus and waste time; just bring your attention back to center and move on to what's next."

This is true, but it's generally true of most days!

Day 1: For Real

Armed with my new dieting toy and new found general apathy towards food I have started my diet yet again. But I'm really doing it this time. Today's food chart looks a little better than Saturday's...

Too many carbs for my liking yet again, but it's early days. No gym as I'm still cold-ridden, I hope to go tomorrow. We (work that is, not the personal kind of us) are no longer moving to Chorley, which is good news as far as I'm concerned. We're just moving into offices downstairs. That's about it really.

Fitday

moany and I have got a new favourite toy. It's very very square actually. It's called FitDay and you record what you've eaten and how much you've moved and it gives you lots of stats and graphs and stuff. Yesterday's charts were amusing on two counts:

1.










2. I also consumed 421% of my RDA of Vitamin C. Cocktails aren't all bad.

The Pernod Inferno...

...and other ill advised cocktails such as Cockney Rebel (apples ad pears, like), Tantalising Taylor, Julie's Surprise and Blue Danube. It all started so well with the Strawberry Daiquris, but when everyone decided vodka and gin based cocktails were a good idea it all got a bit messy. I think the creation of the Pernod Inferno was a reflection of our state of mind really. Had a bloody good time though, we played Outburst and everything. Although I don't actually remember going to bed...

By the way, a special mention should go to Carol's Strongbow and Blue Curacao concoction.

Free Money!

£110 worth of high street vouchers.
Approx £200 casino winnings
For approx £100 outlay.

That's odds of 21/10. Thank you very much SmartLiveCasino, Golden Lounge, Jackpot Joy, Mansion Casino and, last but not least, iPoints!

Fuck you very much Littlewoods Casino & InterCasino.

Free money!!

I will start recording it all properly now like a proper business person.

Full time defection from LiveJournal

I have officially moved from LJ now. This is where my public blogging shall happen. As for private blogging, well I don't really have any secrets these days, at least none that I have to write down. I'm sure this will still keep track of my diet and exercise. I can't do the latter at the moment, by the way, because I CAN'T BREATHE. I have something up with my sinuses and have been guzzling spicy food. Low fat spicy food though. Watched Claire Sweeney last night eating what she liked for six weeks. The poor love put on two stone and is still trying to lose that last half a stone. I know how she feels. I think that happened to me after I went to the States. Actually I don't think it was that bad. 4 stone in 4 years though. Blah blah diet blah. It's not that interesting.

Changes have been afoot at work. I got around a 7% pay rise today after three months, which probably means I wasn't getting paid enough in the first place but there you go. Have also changed what I'm supposed to be researching. I wonder just how many shops there actually are in Yorkshire.

I'm reading Dear Fatty by Dawn French. moany was disappointed in her by about the third page where she vividly describes batting her dad's willy about. No not like that. I understood where she was coming from, she says she was trying to protect him from some kind of unknown, but it probably wasn't appropriate to talk about it in a book.

Waterloo Road is ridiculous, but strangely gripping.

Oh and this still needs checking out, assuming this blog is ever going to be read by anyone out of the loop.